Miracle of Forgiveness

Do you believe in miracles?  I do.  I have heard of many medical miracles.  Someone was healed and science could not explain the healing.  It could have been a healing from cancer, paralysis, pain, or other disease.  There are also miracles that have happened in the mission field.  God formed a hedge of protection around the missionary.  They were in harm’s way, but He protected them and got them to a safe place.  There are miracles everyday on the road ways.  It is a miracle I get to and from work safely.  And there are many miracles recorded in the Bible.  Jesus healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, cast out demons, calmed the sea, and raised the dead.  But of all the miracles that have occurred, the one that I want to discuss now is the miracle of forgiveness.  I know someone personally who has experienced this miracle.

There was a boy who was about seven or eight years old who lived with his father and younger sister.  He already believed life was not fair.  He was taught this very early due to the fact that he became a motherless child about three years prior.  Because he believed life wasn't fair, he became very angry.  He wasn't sure how to express his anger, so he took it out on his sister.  He would toss her around like a rag doll, throw things at her expecting damage, and hitting her causing bruises, black eyes, jammed fingers, cuts, and stitches.  The beatings were occurring almost daily for 10 years. 

 Peter was one of the first disciples Jesus called to become fishers of men (Mark 1:16-20).  He had a very close relationship to Jesus.  He walked on water during the storm (Mathew 14:22-32), went up with Jesus to the Mount of Transfiguration (Matthew 17:1-13), and was the first to acknowledge Jesus as “the Christ, the Son of the Living God.” (Matthew 16:13-20).  So when Jesus was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, Peter was angry.  So angry he tried to use the sword and cut off the ear of the priest’s servant (John 18:1-11).  Then all the disciples ran away, including Peter (Mark 14:50).

But it wasn't just the beatings that occurred.  He treated his sister as an experiment.  He did with her as he pleased.  He forced her to watch adult movies and look at adult magazines.  He then began experimenting on her. He forced her to do things only adults should know about and do.  His sister learned things she did not need nor want to learn.  He forced an adult education on a very young child.  This continued for around three years.

 Peter was waiting outside the door of the courtyard as Jesus was on trial.  I can only imagine that he wanted to know what was going on without being seen.  And “as Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came. And when she saw Peter warming himself, she looked at him and said, “You also were with Jesus of Nazareth.”  But he denied it, saying, “I neither know nor understand what you are saying.” And he went out on the porch, and a rooster crowed.” (Mark 14:66-68)

Things only got worse.  His anger grew into hatred and jealousy.  He was jealous of his little sister.  She made all A’s in school without having to study.  He was lucky to make C’s.  Her teachers bragged on her in school.  His teachers had to call home continuously.  He believed his sister had it made.  So he tried to remove the competition.  There were many times he tried to drown his sister.  But God gave her the fight she needed to survive.  He tried handcuffing her and locking her up in the tree house and leaving her for dead.  But God provided a way for her to become free.  There were many times he tried to become the only child, but his plans were always foiled. 

Instead of eliminating his sister by his actions, he began to use his words.  He would belittle his sister.  He would tell her she was ugly, fat, worthless, no good, unloved.  His words cut deeper than any sharp object he had tried to use.  He used his words so much that his sister began to believe it was true.  He cut her self-worth so low, she could barely hold onto what she had left.

Peter moved closer to the fire to stay warm.  He did not want to be recognized.  He just wanted to be there close by the trial.  As he was standing there, “the servant girl saw him again, and began to say to those who stood by, “This is one of them.”But he denied it again.” (Mark 14:69-70)

 Throughout the ten years of abuse, his actions filtered outside of the house.  He was on drugs, hung out with the wrong crowd, dropped out of school, and had already been in and out of jail.  His relationship with his sister was severed.  She refused to have any contact with him.  And he is currently in prison as we speak.

 Peter was still outside the doors in the lower courtyard.  He was still trying to stay warm, when a servant of the high priest saw Peter.  This man was actually a relative of the servant Peter had cut the ear off of.  When he saw Peter, he said, “Did I not see you in the garden with Him?” Peter then denied again; and immediately a rooster crowed. (John 18:26).  Peter had denied his best friend three times, just as Jesus had predicted. 

But that’s not the end of the story.  The sister finally decided to write her brother after fifteen years since the last time he physically hurt her.  She not only wrote her brother, but she offered genuine forgiveness.  She told him it wouldn't be easy and it wouldn't happen overnight.  He accepted responsibility.  He offered to help her forgive him.  Almost five months after the first offer of forgiveness, my brother and I are still writing each other, I am still forgiving, and we are building a new relationship.

 Jesus had been crucified on the cross and laid in the tomb.  It was the third day and “Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, that they might come and anoint Him.”  When they arrived at the tomb, the stone was rolled away.  As they approached the tomb, “they saw a young man clothed in a long white robe sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed.  But he said to them, “Do not be alarmed. You seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He is risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid Him. But go, tell His disciples—and Peter—that He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him, as He said to you.””  But go and tell the disciples.  And Peter.  Jesus said his name.  What forgiveness Jesus offered.  What grace was given to Peter.  Peter denied he even knew Jesus.  Yet Jesus forgave him and offered him grace.  Jesus gave Peter the miracle of forgiveness. (Mark 16:1-7)

Miracles still happen today.  This miracle of forgiveness is all from God.  God not only worked on my heart so I could forgive, but he also worked on my brother’s heart so he could accept the forgiveness.  God gave my brother the same forgiveness He gave to Peter.   He gave the same grace.  He worked the same miracle.  A miracle that is only possible By God’s Amazing Grace. 

Blessings and Miracles

I remember when I was told to take over the eighth grade math position with just a few short weeks until they had to take the state test.  With eighth grade, they have to pass the test to go on to the next grade.  I remember thinking, “What are they expecting?  A miracle?”  I went in doing my job not expecting to see the results they wanted to see.  I went in as me, a teacher who is passionate about her kids and wants what is best for them.  I gave them everything I had.

When I went in, the students had just taken a practice test.  The results were not pretty.  Only seven percent of the students passed the test.  I felt there was nothing I could really do except get the class under control and get their minds in the right place for the test.  I honestly believed that the actual results would be just as bad.

But I never quit.  I never gave up.  I kept teaching.  I gave them all the knowledge I could.  I never cast them out as a hopeless cause.  I treated them like I had all my classes previously. 

Then the day of the test came.  I assured my kids that they could do it.  They just needed to believe in themselves.  They needed to try and not give up.

We anxiously waited for the results of the test.  Everyone wanted to know how they did.  Everyone was sitting on pins and needles. 

And finally the day arrived.  The results were in!  I analyzed the data.  Then I reanalyzed the data.  Then I had to look at it again.

God had used me to perform a miracle!  Not only were my students comparable to another teacher at the school, but 48% of the students increased their scores from the practice test to this real test!  The average score increased from the practice test to the real test. 

God used me to perform a miracle, but not just with the test scores.  I was able to give the kids hope.  I was able to show them they could do it.  I was able to give them confidence.  They had none of that before I went into the classroom.  I could not have done that on my own.  God worked through me!

So when you are put in a situation, remember, God is in control.  He put you there for a reason.  He knows what your strengths are.  He knows how to use your talents.  He will put in a place to utilize this talent.  He has a purpose for everything.  We serve a mighty God!  Instead of asking why you are there, ask “How can God bless others through me while I am here?” 

God was able to not only bless me in this position, but He was able to bless others through me.  This was possible only By God’s Amazing Grace!

Story of the Talents

Samuel was the CEO of a large corporation.  He had built the company from the ground up.  It was his baby and was very careful about who he hired and who he put in charge.  After 15 years of long nights, lost sleep, and no vacation, Samuel decided he needed some time off to relax.  He called in three of his employees.

Andrew was the first employee he had called into his office.  Andrew had been with the company for 10 years.  He knew the ins and outs of the company and Sam knew Andrew would be reliable.  He didn't want to leave just anyone in charge of the company while he was gone.  He explained the situation to Andrew and told him he would be in charge of most of the company.  Andrew would have 10 people under him and he would be in charge of the finances.  Andrew agreed and was ready for his new responsibility.  Samuel reminded him that this company was his pride and joy and not to mess up anything.

Ramon was the second employee to be called into Samuel’s office.  Ramon had been with the company for 6 years and was pretty comfortable with the way the company worked.  Samuel told Ramon he would be in charge of 6 employees and the scheduling.  Ramon agreed and was ready for his new responsibility.  Samuel reminded him that this company was his pride and joy and not to mess up anything. Ramon became a little nervous but nodded anyway.

Dan was the third and final employee to be called into Samuel’s office.  He had been with the company for a year and half.  Samuel had enough confidence in Dan to give him some responsibility, but not too much.  He would be in charge of 2 employees and for ordering supplies when they started to run low.  Samuel reminded him that this company was his pride and joy and not to mess up anything.  Dan swallowed hard and he started sweating. 

The next day, Andrew, Ramon, and Dan began their new positions.  Andrew began his day by gathering his 10 employees and explaining how things were going to run while Samuel was gone.  They were divided up in to teams of two.  Each team had tasks they needed to complete.  They could have an hour and a half lunch and a fifteen minute break.  They also would have one vacation day, that Friday, as long as they completed the tasks for the week.  Andrew’s workers immediately got to work and he began working on the finances.

Ramon called in his six employees.  He divided his group in teams of two.  They each had certain tasks that needed to be completed by the end of the week.  They were told they could have an hour lunch each day and they could have two fifteen minute breaks.  If they completed their weekly task, they could leave early on Friday, with pay.  His employees immediately got to work and he began working on scheduling for the next week.

Dan called in his two employees.  He told them they need to complete a list of things by the end of the day Friday.  They were told they had to each complete a different list of items and could not team up.  They should not have time to fraternize while at work.  Dan also told the two employees they were not allowed to leave for lunch and they only had thirty minutes each day.  And under no circumstances were they allowed to take breaks or leave early.  In fact, they had to stay an extra hour that week.  His employees slowly walked down the stairs and went their separate ways to complete their tasks.  Dan stood at the window and watched each one work.  He made notes on a clip board every time he saw something he disapproved of.

By the end of the week, Andrew’s employees not only completed their tasks, but found time to do extra things they knew needed to be done as well.  Each employee worked hard for Andrew and was grateful for the paid vacation they received that Friday.  And not only that, Andrew increased the profits for the company by 25%.  He also cut some areas of spending and saved the company $800 a month.

Ramon’s employees also finished their tasks.  They each worked hard to make sure everything was done to perfection.  They were very grateful for half a day off that Friday.  Ramon was able to finagle the schedule in a way to make sure there would be coverage for every shift.  He also looked at the books to know which days were the busiest to make sure there was extra coverage during those times. 

Dan’s employees barely finished the tasks they were given.  They worked long hard hours but still did not finish.  Not only that, but they had to be paid over time, which cost the company extra money.  By the end of the week, the bathrooms were out of soap and paper towels.  Other supplies were so low that Dan’s employees were not able to complete a task or two.  For the supplies to be ordered in time, the company would have to spend $120 in expedited shipping.

Monday morning, Samuel walked back into his office with a nice tan and a great attitude.  He called Andrew, Ramon, and Dan into his office.   Samuel looked over the books and asked a few questions.  “I see that Andrew was able to cut spending in areas that I never noticed before.  Great job!  But I am confused as to why there were extra expenses this week that I have never had to have before.  Can you explain that Dan?”  Dan began stumbling over his words and explained that he was busy supervising his employees and not paying attention to the supplies. 

“And I see that your employees were able to finish all their normal tasks and then some in less time than normal, Andrew.  But, Dan, can you explain why your employees worked longer hours and still did not finish their jobs in the allotted time?”  Dan was sweating by now.  He tried to explain that he made sure they were working and he treated them in a way that he expected Samuel to treat them.

Samuel was very confused.  He did not understand the extra expenses, the limited supplies, the extra hours, and the incomplete work.  He looked straight at Dan.  “I am very disappointed.  I gave you very few responsibilities in hopes that you would step up and do great things with what I gave you.  But not only did you not do what was expected of you, you cost this company even more money.  Today is your last day.  Clean out your office.  You are fired.”  Dan hung his head and walked out of the office.

“And Ramon, you did a great job.  You worked hard and diligently.  Your employees did a great job this week.  I will keep you as supervisor over those employees and you will also stay in charge of scheduling.  You proved yourself worthy of this job.  Along with that you will receive a raise.”

“Andrew,” Sam began, “not only did you get your employees to work hard and finish their tasks, but you increased profits and saved us money.  You will stay supervisor over these ten employees and Dan’s other two.  Not only that, but I am promoting you to CFO of this company.  Congratulations!”

Just like Dan, Ramon, and Andrew, we are asked to be responsible in different aspects of life.  God has given each of us different talents and gifts.  He has entrusted us with them.  He wants us to use them for His glory.  He might have given you leadership, discernment, economical insight.  He might have given you the ability to speak, to write, to sing.  Whatever He has given you, He wants you to use.  Don’t sit on your gifts or talents.  Don’t hide them.  It is like the saying goes, “if you don’t use it, you lose it.”  That is very true. 

We can glorify God and edify man with the talents and gifts He has given to each of us only By God’s Amazing Grace.

(Based on Matthew 25:14-30)

Dreams Really Do Come True

Have you ever wished and prayed so hard for something to happen that when it finally did, you felt like you were in a dream?  You had to pinch yourself to ensure you were awake and back in reality?  I have had one of those moments.

I grew up in a single parent home.  My mother decided when I was about a year and a half that she no longer wanted to be a mother.  She picked up her stuff and left.  No good-bye.  She just vanished.  Fell off the face of the planet.  My dad said he had tried to find her, but she did not want to be found. 

My dad would ask me, “What do you want for your birthday?” or “What do you want for Christmas?”  My reply was always the same.  I wanted to meet my mother.  He was never able to fulfill that request.  

I remember when I was 18, I actually debated on calling 1 800 US Search to look for her.  I didn’t have much information other than what was on my birth certificate.  I thought about what I would say if I found her.  Would I be mad?  Would I be happy?  Would I understand why she left?  I had no idea how I would react.  I could see the scene played out in my head in so many different ways.  All I knew was that I wanted to meet her.  I wanted to meet my mom.

But I never called.  I was too chicken, I think.  Maybe I wasn’t ready.  I’m not sure.  But I never did call.

One Sunday afternoon in August of 2004, I was working hard developing film when my name was called over the loud speaker to pick up a call on the phone.  I got worried because people didn’t call me at work unless it was an emergency.  It was my brother on the other line.  My first thought was something had happened to my dad.  “She called.”  That’s all he said at first. 

“Um, ok.  Good for her.”  I said.  “Who is she?”  I could care less about his girlfriends.  Why was he telling me one of his old/current/ex-girlfriends had called?

“Our mom.”  He said and then paused.  “She is in town and wants to see us.”

I almost fainted.  My legs became jello and my arm barely had strength to hold onto the phone.  But I needed to hear what he had to say.  I needed to know he wasn’t playing a trick on me.  It wasn’t April first. 

“Excuse me?  Um.  I don’t think I understand.  I think I misheard you.  Tell me one more time.”  The words were hard to form.  My mouth became so dry.  I could hardly speak.

“Mom.  She’s in town.”

Tears were rolling down my cheeks.  I could not control them.  It was as if someone had turned on the water faucet and I couldn’t turn it off.  I slowly hung up the phone.  Yes, I hung up on my brother.

I slowly and carefully walked over to the manager on duty.  Had to be careful because I had no clue as to when my legs would give out on me.  Any step could be the one that landed me on the ground.  I felt like a Jinga tower.  One move could topple me over.

Once I made it over to the MOD, I explained the situation.  She agreed with me that it was imperative that I leave immediately.  So I took an early lunch.

Once I get home, we all hopped into my dad’s truck and headed about 10 to 15 minutes to her location.  I kept thinking this was a sick joke.  Why would someone play this joke on someone?  I still was in shock. 

I remember getting out of the truck and looking at all the women sitting out on the front porch and having no clue as to which one was my mother.  Thoughts really began running through my head.  “Who are these people?”  “Which one is my mother?”  “What if none of these women are my mother?”  “Has she lived here the whole time?”  “Who are all these kids?”  My head started spinning.

A woman put her hand on my shoulder.  She started to come into view as the spinning began to slow.  Her hair was short.  Kind of blondish brown.  She was maybe an inch or two taller than me, if that.  She had kind of a round face.  “Hi.  I am your mom.”

The moment had finally arrived.  All of the thoughts that would go through my head as to what I would say, how I would react when I met my mother, all took off on a jet.  I did the first thing that did come to mind.  I didn't faint.  I wrapped my arms around her.  Instincts kicked in.  I gave her a hug and she hugged me in return. 

I felt like I was in a dream.  It felt like I was in an alternate universe.  I was on cloud nine.  I got my birthday present a few weeks early.

The meeting had to be called to an end due to the fact that I had to return to work.  I wanted to stay.  I wanted to get to know her.  But I also needed my job.  So back to work I went.  But we exchanged information so we could keep in contact.

The next few months went by so quickly.  She would come visit me on her days off (as she did not actually live in the house we visited) and we would spend time together.  We went to the zoo, out to eat, stayed at my house.  We spent a lot of time together.  And she let me ask any questions I wanted to ask.  One being, “Why?”  Her answer was easy.  And it had nothing to do with me.  I was not her reasoning for running away.  I always thought it was my fault.  But she put those worries to rest. 

I was just finishing up a semester at college and was about to be on break.  It was the second week of December.  I was at work and I told my brother that I needed a ride home from work.  The store was closed and we were almost done cleaning the place when my brother called.  He said he had some news for me and to hurry so I could leave.  I already knew.  He didn’t have tell me. 

When I got out to the car, he informed me that my mother had died.  She was found in a motel room by herself.

I think back on all of that now.  The years I lost with her due to her absence.  The four short months that I had with her.  The years I have continued to live without her yet again.  And those four months were amazing.  I was given a gift.  I will cherish that gift for the rest of my life.  God answered my prayers in a way that I would never have expected.  I have no regrets.  I am thankful for the time I had with her and the memories we were able to create together.  Memories that I will be able to share with my daughter.  I will actually be able to tell her about her grandmother as someone I actually knew.  I am blessed only By God’s Amazing Grace.

Identity Theft

Did you know that 7% of American households have been a victim of identity theft?  Out of every 100 families, seven have been affected by it.  That seems like such a small amount until you realize how many American households there are.  In 2010, there was an estimated 115,000,000 households.  That would mean there were about 8,050,000 victims of identity theft.  With the increase in technology, this number will only increase. 

Did you know that identity theft has been around for about 4,000 years?  The first person affected was victimized by his own brother.  You find this story in Genesis chapter 27. 

Isaac had two sons, twins, Jacob and Esau.  Esau was older than Jacob by probably a few minutes.  He was a very hairy man and Jacob had smooth skin.  In those days, the eldest son received the birthright and the blessing from his father.  Therefore, Esau should have received both.

Isaac was getting old and knew his days were numbered.  His ability to see had diminished.  He called in Esau and told him to hunt game and make a meal so Isaac could eat and bless him.  Esau hurried along to follow his father’s commands.  The problem was Rebekah loved Jacob more than Esau.  The parents had played favorites and Jacob was hers.  She had heard Isaac’s request to Esau.  She wanted Jacob to receive the blessing, not Esau.

Rebekah called for Jacob and explained to him what his father had asked Esau to do but how she has decided that Jacob is the rightful recipient of the blessing.  She then explained her plan.  Jacob was to kill two goats and she would cook them up.  Jacob would then serve the food to his father Isaac and Jacob would receive the blessing.

Jacob was a smart man.  He knew that Isaac would realize he was not Esau due to the lack of hair on his body.  Rebekah already had a plan in mind.  She told Jacob not to worry and to follow her commands.  While Esau was still out hunting for game, Jacob had already captured the two goats and his mother had them cooked up and ready to serve.  She then took the skin from the goats and placed them on Jacob’s arms and neck and gave him some of Esau’s clothes to wear.  She then sent him into Isaac to receive the blessing due to the eldest son.

Jacob went before Isaac and Isaac’s first question was, “Who are you, my son?”  Isaac knew something was not right.  He even asked how he was able to find the game so quickly.  Isaac was suspicious of Jacob, not fully believing he was Esau.  He even asked Jacob to come near so he could feel if he was truly Esau or not.  He felt how hairy Jacob was and asked one more time if he was truly Esau.  Therefore, Jacob received the blessing due to his older brother.

Esau was a victim of identity theft and the thief was his own brother. 

But Isaac could have prevented it from happening.  He delivered the blessing to Jacob based on what he felt.  He relied on his feelings and not on what he knew to be true.  He knew that Esau could not find game and cook it as quickly as it was prepared by Jacob and Rebekah.  I would think that the two boys would sound differently, another reason why Isaac could have asked “Who are you?”  Instead of basing his decision on the facts, he based them on feeling if he was Esau.

Feelings can be tricky.  Jeremiah 17:9 even says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”  We cannot trust our feelings.  Sometimes our feelings don’t match up with reality.

I am not saying feelings are bad all the time.  But I am saying we should not rely on our feelings.  We should rely on what we know to be true. 

And this is true with our walk with God.  We can’t rely on feelings when it comes to the relationship we have with Him.  There are times that I feel so…alone.  But God has promised me that He will never leave or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6).  I know that I am not alone.  But there are times that my feelings and reality do not match up.   Reality is God is still here and I am not alone.  Reality is that God will never leave me and I can rely on Him.  Reality is, He loves me too much to leave me alone.  So I am not alone.  I cannot rely on my feelings.  My feelings are a lie. 

This is where faith walks in.  This is where I need to trust and have faith.  I can’t just make myself feel like I am not alone.  I have to believe.  It is not about feelings.  It is about faith.  It is not about what my heart is telling me.  It is about what I know to be true. 

Have you ever been lying in bed with all the lights off and you see shadows on the wall?  The shadows can look like some scary creatures with lots of arms ready to grab its next victim from underneath the blankets.  The shadows can be very deceiving.  But the reality is that the light is shining on a tree that is being swayed by the wind.  The shadows are like our feelings.  They can make us see things that are not really there.  They make us believe things that are untrue.  Our feelings can be just as scary as those shadows on a wall. 

The key is to trust God, not our feelings.  We should have faith in Him, not in what our heart tells us to do.  I am able to trust in God and grow my faith only By God’s Amazing Grace.

Fear Versus Respect

I am absolutely terrified of water.  Not just any water.  I can handle swimming pools as long as there is a solid concrete bottom, clear, clean water, and I have friends to swim with.  I have to be able to see where I am going.  I cannot swim in lakes, oceans, rivers, or ponds.  Not only can I not see through the water, but there is definitely not a solid foundation.  It has little to do with the fact that I have no idea what else in the water.  But it is not just that.  There are other factors. 

The summer before the Hubs and I got married, I worked at a church camp.  One of the requirements was to pass a swimming test.  The problem, the swimming pool was a lake.  I was terrified out of my mind.  I jumped in the water and was out of it in less than 10 seconds.  Well, it seemed that way, at least.  I never swam so fast in my life.

About a year before that, I went camping with a youth group at church.  One of the guys took his boat with him.  I remember everyone trying to persuade me that getting on the boat would be no big deal.  Ha ha.  Yeah.  Sure.  As I was walking towards the boat and I looked into the water, the tears began welling up in my eyes.  I literally started crying.  Seriously?  It was just a boat, right? Not like I had to even get IN the water.  I know.  But it really is that bad. 

But like I said, I am terrified of water.  I have a fear of it. 

The Bible actually tells us to fear God.  It is mentioned 45 times.  But this fear is completely different than my fear of water.  In this context, it actually means to have respect, reverence, or piety.  It does not mean to be afraid of.  It means to respect God.  For example, in Ecclesiastes 12:13 it says, “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”  We can go back and replace the word “fear” with its definition “respect”.  “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: [Respect] God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”  If we respect God, we will keep His commandments.  And if we replace fear with respect in Revelation 14:7, it will say, “saying with a loud voice, [respect] God, and give glory to him; for the hour of his judgment is come: and worship Him that made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and the fountains of waters.”

It is not about fear.  It is about respect.  Why would God tell us to “fear not” 63 times and “do not be afraid” 7 if He wanted us to be afraid of Him.  He doesn't want us to be afraid of Him.  He wants us to show Him respect.  He wants us have reverence towards Him.  When I come to God, I am not terrified.  I don’t cry out in fear when I get close to Him.  I don’t rush through my devotionals with Him.  I enjoy my time with God.  I enjoy praying to Him, reading the Bible, and even talking about Him.  These are pleasurable moments, not moments of fear. 

When someone asks you, “Why do you serve a God who says to fear Him?”  Remember, it is not fear He is asking for.  He is asking for respect and reverence.  He is not asking us to be afraid of Him.  God is our Creator (Genesis 1:1).  He is our Friend (John 15:15).  He is our Teacher (John 7:14).  He is our Healer (Matthew 4:23-24).  He is our Law Maker/Giver (Exodus 20).  The people that fill these positions today receive great respect.  Or I should say, they deserve great respect.  If mankind receives respect in their sinfulness, shouldn't God receive respect in His perfection? 

1 John 4:8 says, “He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” And 1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”  So if God is love and there is not fear in love, then how are we supposed to fear Him who is Love?  We aren't.  His love is perfect.  There is no fear.

When you come to God, don’t come in fear.  Come in love.  Come with respect.  Reverence Him.  This is possible because of God’s Amazing Grace.

Just a Call Away

I had a wonderful weekend.  Hubs, Little Bit, and I went camping with our church family.  It was an amazing weekend filled with blessings, friendship, trials, praises, fun, and the beautiful outdoors.  I have always loved camping, and it brought back a lot of wonderful memories from when I was growing up.

There was a point in time over the weekend that I was looking for the Hubs and was not able to find him.  I'm not sure if it was he or I that was lost.  So I picked up my trusty cell phone and called him.  To think, that was not even an option 10 years ago.  Not that there weren't cell phones 10 years ago, but that there would not have been service out there.  But all it took was a phone call to find him.  I didn't have run around asking people if they had seen him.  I did not have to just sit there hoping that he would return soon.  I just had to call him.  Simple.

This is similar to our relationship with God.  There are times we feel lost.  We don't know where we are and can't find home.  In these times we have options.  We can ask other people to help us get back to where we were.  We can just sit and wait for God to come to us.  Or we can just call Him. Of course we wouldn't call Him on our cell phones, but we can get our knees and have a direct line to Him.

One amazing thing about calling God, there's no busy signal, call waiting, or voice mail.  There is no static.  He can hear clearly.  We don't have to find a high place, lift our leg, touch our nose, and jump to get a good signal.  So we can be in the middle of Timbuktu with no towers and we can still call Him and He will answer.

On those days you need someone to talk to, call the One who has no answering machine.  He will take your call now.  He will listen.  He wants to know your cares, your worries.  He wants to hear about how your day went.  He wants to hear the good things.  Talk to him like you would talk to your friend.

And something that is even greater than Him listening, He will answer.  He is the friend with solutions, and He knows how to make it happen.  He is not just going to listen and then walk away like He never heard it.  He will answer your prayers.

Don't feel lost.  Just call on Him.  He will answer.  Our prayers are answered By God's Amazing Grace.

Control Freak in the Unmaking

My kids at school were testing the past two days.  In years past I have always been a nervous wreck on the day of the math test.  But this year I have been very, let's say, unstressed.  It's weird.  It's abnormal.  But I like it.  Not worrying literally takes a load off my mind and my body.

So what's the difference?  I have come to a realization recently that has helped me to understand and accept that I can only control so much.  I can do everything in my power to prepare the kids for their test.  I can teach them what they need to know.  I can teach them everything in the curriculum.  But I can only do so much.  It is like the saying goes, "I can lead a horse to water, but I can't make him drink."  I can teach them, give them the information, but I can't make them learn. They have to make that decision for themselves.  They have to decide to apply what they have learned.  They have to decide to truly understand the information.  I can only do so much.  When it comes time for them to share their knowledge through a test, it is up to them, not me.  They now have the power.  They now have the control.  It is out of my hands.  So why should I be stressed?  Why should I be worried?  I shouldn't.  There is no need.  I shouldn't work myself up over something that is out of my control.

So, yes, I was stress-free on testing day.  I enjoyed the beautiful rainy day as I strolled through the classroom actively monitoring the students.  A no worry carefree day.

But I can apply that to more than just my students testing.  I can apply it to my whole life.  There are many things I have absolutely no control over.  Yet, I try to have that control by worrying.  I make myself believe I can change things by worrying about them.  And there is nothing that will change or be fixed by worrying about it.  Absolutely nothing.  Yet, I do it all the time.  But why?

I honestly believe that I like to have control over situations because if they go wrong, I can take all the blame.  It will be all my fault.  I will be the guilty one.  I take control expecting failures so I can beat myself up over it.  I have another reason to say I'm not good enough.   I have another reason to say I am unworthy.   If someone else has control, then how can it be my fault and how can I take blame?

For this reason, I need to learn how to let go and let God.  He is the only one that has control over situations.  He is the only one that has the solutions and can fix the problems.  So why do I try to play God in certain aspects of my life instead of letting God be God over my whole life?  Good question.  I need to stop trying to do His job.  Last time I checked, He had everything under control and is doing a better job than I could even dream of doing.  I need to give the control back to Him.  It wasn't mine in the first place to take.  So I need to give it back.  I know it will not be easy.

Little Bit absolutely loves bananas.  Anytime she sees one, or even hears one being opened, she immediately asks for one.  If I ask for a bite, she will tell me no and hold the banana very close to her body.  She is very protective of her bananas.  But if I have to take the banana for any reason (she has to go potty, not sitting while eating...), I have to practically fight her for the banana. We usually end up with squished banana all over her, me, the floor, the ceiling...okay, maybe not the ceiling, but you get the point.  I am like that with control.  Once I've got it, I don't want to let it go.  I want to keep it for myself.  I don't want to share it and I don't want to give it back.  But I know I need to.  I need to relinquish control.  I need to give it up.  And not reluctantly or begrudgingly.  I don't want squished control on my ceiling.  So, I know it is going to be a process.  But I also know that it is possible only By God's Amazing Grace.

From Here to Timbuktu

If I had no obligations, if money was not an issue, if fear did not play a part in my life, I would love to travel.  I have been to a few places here and there in the United States.  Been to Arkansas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming, Idaho, Oregon, Washington, Arizona, Nevada, and of course Texas.  All of the places were…nice.  But my favorite places included ones with mountains.  When I travel, I want to actually climb a mountain.  Or two.  The closest I have come to climbing a mountain was when my grandfather drove through the mountains on our journey to Washington.  It was a magnificent view.  And I have been to the top of a mountain.  I was close enough to touch the clouds.  So exhilarating. 

I remember my trip to Washington State.  It was the summer between my junior and senior year in high school.  That would have been back in 2000, maybe.  On the way to Washington, we went through Colorado.  As we were driving, we had two views.  The driver’s side view was a wall formed by the mountain.  The passenger’s side view was air.  The speed limit was no more than 15 miles an hour through most of that drive.  It was amazing.  I praise God I was not the one driving.

 

I also remember when we went to Wallowa Mountains in Oregon.  The view was breath taking.  It was absolutely amazing.  Standing on the top of the mountains, looking out...indescribable.  The view went on forever.  The snow-capped mountains were unimaginable to this city girl from Texas.  I fell in love that day.  Even now, thirteen years later, I still can picture it and feel the peace it gave me while there.

While I was in Washington State, my family and I also went to Yellowstone National Park.  That was an adventure.  I don’t remember how long we stayed there, but it was long enough to see animals I had only read about in books.  Old Faithful was still somewhat faithful.  The geological features were absolutely amazing to experience.  There is so much evidence in Yellowstone of God’s creative power and His ingenuity.  The colors, the designs, the intricacies are too amazing to be formed by some kind of accident.  God definitely had a hand in it all.

As amazing as all these places are that I have been to, there is a place that I really want to travel to, but not for a visit.  I want to make it my permanent residence.  I want Heaven to be my home.  As breathtakingly beautiful as the other places are, Heaven is going to be 1,000 times more beautiful.  The mountains, the geysers, the hot springs are all amazing, but they have been affected by sin.  Old Faithful has lost most of its faithfulness and mountains are becoming landslides.  In Heaven and on the New Earth, sin will not have touched the things God has created.  Everything will be majestically beautiful.  Everything will be made new.  There will be no sink holes.  There will be no quick sand.  There will be no erosion.  All things will be made perfect. 

Beauty in my eyes is Washington, Oregon, Yellowstone.  But God has something else in mind, something more beautiful.  Beauty these eyes have never seen.  Beauty this mind cannot comprehend.  I desire to see my new home.  And one day, when Jesus returns to take His people home, I will be in that crowd and partake of that beauty only By God’s Amazing Grace.