Dreams Really Do Come True

Have you ever wished and prayed so hard for something to happen that when it finally did, you felt like you were in a dream?  You had to pinch yourself to ensure you were awake and back in reality?  I have had one of those moments.

I grew up in a single parent home.  My mother decided when I was about a year and a half that she no longer wanted to be a mother.  She picked up her stuff and left.  No good-bye.  She just vanished.  Fell off the face of the planet.  My dad said he had tried to find her, but she did not want to be found. 

My dad would ask me, “What do you want for your birthday?” or “What do you want for Christmas?”  My reply was always the same.  I wanted to meet my mother.  He was never able to fulfill that request.  

I remember when I was 18, I actually debated on calling 1 800 US Search to look for her.  I didn’t have much information other than what was on my birth certificate.  I thought about what I would say if I found her.  Would I be mad?  Would I be happy?  Would I understand why she left?  I had no idea how I would react.  I could see the scene played out in my head in so many different ways.  All I knew was that I wanted to meet her.  I wanted to meet my mom.

But I never called.  I was too chicken, I think.  Maybe I wasn’t ready.  I’m not sure.  But I never did call.

One Sunday afternoon in August of 2004, I was working hard developing film when my name was called over the loud speaker to pick up a call on the phone.  I got worried because people didn’t call me at work unless it was an emergency.  It was my brother on the other line.  My first thought was something had happened to my dad.  “She called.”  That’s all he said at first. 

“Um, ok.  Good for her.”  I said.  “Who is she?”  I could care less about his girlfriends.  Why was he telling me one of his old/current/ex-girlfriends had called?

“Our mom.”  He said and then paused.  “She is in town and wants to see us.”

I almost fainted.  My legs became jello and my arm barely had strength to hold onto the phone.  But I needed to hear what he had to say.  I needed to know he wasn’t playing a trick on me.  It wasn’t April first. 

“Excuse me?  Um.  I don’t think I understand.  I think I misheard you.  Tell me one more time.”  The words were hard to form.  My mouth became so dry.  I could hardly speak.

“Mom.  She’s in town.”

Tears were rolling down my cheeks.  I could not control them.  It was as if someone had turned on the water faucet and I couldn’t turn it off.  I slowly hung up the phone.  Yes, I hung up on my brother.

I slowly and carefully walked over to the manager on duty.  Had to be careful because I had no clue as to when my legs would give out on me.  Any step could be the one that landed me on the ground.  I felt like a Jinga tower.  One move could topple me over.

Once I made it over to the MOD, I explained the situation.  She agreed with me that it was imperative that I leave immediately.  So I took an early lunch.

Once I get home, we all hopped into my dad’s truck and headed about 10 to 15 minutes to her location.  I kept thinking this was a sick joke.  Why would someone play this joke on someone?  I still was in shock. 

I remember getting out of the truck and looking at all the women sitting out on the front porch and having no clue as to which one was my mother.  Thoughts really began running through my head.  “Who are these people?”  “Which one is my mother?”  “What if none of these women are my mother?”  “Has she lived here the whole time?”  “Who are all these kids?”  My head started spinning.

A woman put her hand on my shoulder.  She started to come into view as the spinning began to slow.  Her hair was short.  Kind of blondish brown.  She was maybe an inch or two taller than me, if that.  She had kind of a round face.  “Hi.  I am your mom.”

The moment had finally arrived.  All of the thoughts that would go through my head as to what I would say, how I would react when I met my mother, all took off on a jet.  I did the first thing that did come to mind.  I didn't faint.  I wrapped my arms around her.  Instincts kicked in.  I gave her a hug and she hugged me in return. 

I felt like I was in a dream.  It felt like I was in an alternate universe.  I was on cloud nine.  I got my birthday present a few weeks early.

The meeting had to be called to an end due to the fact that I had to return to work.  I wanted to stay.  I wanted to get to know her.  But I also needed my job.  So back to work I went.  But we exchanged information so we could keep in contact.

The next few months went by so quickly.  She would come visit me on her days off (as she did not actually live in the house we visited) and we would spend time together.  We went to the zoo, out to eat, stayed at my house.  We spent a lot of time together.  And she let me ask any questions I wanted to ask.  One being, “Why?”  Her answer was easy.  And it had nothing to do with me.  I was not her reasoning for running away.  I always thought it was my fault.  But she put those worries to rest. 

I was just finishing up a semester at college and was about to be on break.  It was the second week of December.  I was at work and I told my brother that I needed a ride home from work.  The store was closed and we were almost done cleaning the place when my brother called.  He said he had some news for me and to hurry so I could leave.  I already knew.  He didn’t have tell me. 

When I got out to the car, he informed me that my mother had died.  She was found in a motel room by herself.

I think back on all of that now.  The years I lost with her due to her absence.  The four short months that I had with her.  The years I have continued to live without her yet again.  And those four months were amazing.  I was given a gift.  I will cherish that gift for the rest of my life.  God answered my prayers in a way that I would never have expected.  I have no regrets.  I am thankful for the time I had with her and the memories we were able to create together.  Memories that I will be able to share with my daughter.  I will actually be able to tell her about her grandmother as someone I actually knew.  I am blessed only By God’s Amazing Grace.