Consider the Lilies

We live in very uncertain times.  There is a lack of job security unless you are an essential employee.  Food supply has been limited.  Pocketbooks have taken a hit due to layoffs, cutbacks, and/or job losses.  These can be some very scary times.

But it doesn't have to be that way.  Psalm 118:8 says, "it is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man."  Our faith needs to be placed in the One who provides for us.  The flowers do not grow on their own.  They have to be planted, watered, fed.  If the flowers trusted in themselves to grow, they wouldn't even have a chance to blossom.  But God has given the flower what it needs to thrive.

In Luke 2:22-31, it says,

"And He said unto His disciples, 'Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on.  The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment.  Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls? And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?  If ye then be not ablet o do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest: Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow ins cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?  And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.  For all these things do the nations fo the world seek after; and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.  But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.'"

We are told in the book Evangelism on page 238 paragraph 3,

"Christ is here teaching a precious lesson in regard to His service.  Whatever experiences may come to you, He says, serve God.  Whatever inconviences and hardships you may encounter, trust in the Lord.  We have no cause to worry and fear if we take our position for the truth, that w and our families will suffer.  To do this is to manifest unbelief in God.  'Your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things,' the Saviour says.  If we would study teh Word more faithfully, we would increase in faith."

It is sometimes easier for us to put our trust in man, whether it be our family, friends, boss, or even ourselves.  But we need to put our trust in the One who made the lilies.  Consider the lilies.  If God takes care of them, He will take care of you.  It isn't always easy, but it is possible only By God's Amazing Grace.

Artwork done by @bygodsamazinggrace.
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Mix-Matched

Have you ever felt like you were mix-matched in strength against something you were facing?  Feeling like you couldn't overcome what you were faced against? Have you ever faced an impossible challenge?  I know I have.  I imagine a hundred-pound wrestler going against a Sumo wrestler.  The odds are not in favor of the hundred-pounder.  I'm sorry, but he's going to get squashed...or lost.  Eek.  

You've lost your job.  You just received a cancer diagnosis. You are addicted to meth.  You are in an abusive relationship.  Your bills are piling higher than Mount Everest.  You are being persecuted for your faith.  All of these seem like impossible situations. You have been mix-matched to a Sumo wrestler.

In the Bible, we see many examples of people facing impossible challenges.  They go against people, armies, or things that are unmatched to their strength, or the lack thereof.

In Exodus 5, Moses had to go before Pharoah.  Moses was scared to go before Moses due to his lack of language.  He even tried to talk God out of sending him.

In Joshua 6, Joshua had to face the big wall.  Without weapons.  

In Judges 4, Jael allowed Sisera, a King, to hide in her tent. How was she supposed to save the people while facing a king?

In Judges 7, Gideon and his army of 300 faced the Midianites' army of over 100,000.  He started with many more people and God dwindled that number down to 300. 

In 1 Samuel 17, David, a young man, faced Goliath, a giant of over 9 feet.  Mono a mono.  

In 2 Chronicles 20, Jehosaphat faced a massive army.  His people were facing many armies.

In Esther, Esther had to go before the King.  If she went before the king uninvited, she could be killed.  If she didn't, her people would be killed.

In Daniel 6, Daniel faced the Lions.  All because he prayed and didn't follow the king's edict.

In Acts 12, Peter was placed in jail by Herod.  He was sentenced to death and would be killed the following morning. Sixteen guards stood outside his cell to make sure he didn't escape.

In Matthew 27, Jesus was nailed to the cross.  He was crucified for our sins.  While on the cross, our sins were so great on him that He felt like He was abandoned by God.  He couldn't see past the grave.  He had no assurance of coming out of the grave.

Each person had to face an impossible challenge.  Each person was mix-matched in strength.  But the amazing thing? They all overcame.  And so can you...through God!

Through God, you can be like Moses and let God's people go.  You can tell others about Him and save them.

Through God, you can be like Joshua and bring down the big wall.  You can break down the walls you have up in your heart and allow God to work miracles in your life.

Through God, you can be like Jael and save the nation by killing the enemy king.  Now I am not saying to go and kill a king, but you can protect those around you ridding your lives of an enemy that is preventing you from following God completely.  

Though God, you can be like David and take down a giant to save your people.  We face giants all the time, but God can help each of us to overcome the giants in our lives.

Through God, you can be like Jehosaphat and do the impossible.  

Through God, you can be like Ester and save your people by speaking to the king.  You can stand up to what is wrong even if you are scared for your life.

Through God, you can be like Daniel and survive the night with the lions.  He can close the mouth of the lions in your life and prevent them from attacking you when you stand for Him.

Through God, you can be like Peter and walk away from prison despite the guards being right there.  He can remove you from situations so you can do His work.  

Through God, you can be like Jesus and live again!  We might feel abandoned, but God is still with us.  We might not be able to see past the grave, but God has resurrecting powers.  We can live again and never die!  We can live eternally with Him when Jesus comes back for us!

We can overcome a mix-matched situation only By God's Amazing Grace.

Why Heaven?

Have you ever wanted something so badly you were willing to work for it, maybe even sell some things you have to earn the money?  Maybe even barter for it?  A man did this in Matthew 13:45-46.  It states, “The kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.”  He found a treasure.  The Kingdom of Heaven.  He sold everything he had for this treasure.  Because to him, it was worth it. 

Do we see the Kingdom of Heaven as a treasure worth all the work we put in for it?  Why do we even want this treasure?  With the events happening in our world today, the soon return of Jesus is closer than it has ever been before.  We are seeing the signs from Matthew 24 being fulfilled right before our eyes.  There have been Bible studies going on as to what to expect during the time of the end.  Are you willing to stand up for your faith and endure the trials so you can spend eternity in Heaven?  And if you are, why?

So much emphasis has been placed on preparing for Jesus’ imminent return, as it should be, but not a lot on the reward we receive for our faith.  Where is the hope?  When my students are learning all year long the math formulas and how to implement them, they know there is a prize at the end.  Their prize is promotion to the next grade level, and eventually graduation.  There is hope for all the learning.  Some students look forward to never taking math again.  Some are dreading it due to their careers.  But they know there is hope.  What is our hope? 

When a runner runs a race, they have to be prepared ahead of time.  There is a lot of training that takes place before they are able to run the race.  Their goal? Crossing the finish line.  Their hope is receiving a prize in the end.  They have hope.

We need to study and be prepared.  But we also need the hope of what is to come.  Why are we being prepared?  Why do we need to be able to stand in the last days?  It is for the prize in the end.  The question you have to answer for yourself is, is the prize worth the preparation?

So I asked myself, “Why do I want to go to Heaven?  Is the prize worth it?”  There are many reasons I want to go to Heaven, as I am sure you would have many reasons as well.  In no particular order, I will share my reasons for why the prize is worth it.

The disciples and Jesus are in the upper room taking part in the Last Supper.  Judas has left as he prepared to betray Jesus.  In John 13, Peter asks why he can’t follow Jesus, not truly understanding the events about to take place.  Jesus tells Peter that he cannot follow Him now.  But in John 14, He promises them “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. And if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.”  Jesus promises He will return and take His followers to Heaven to live with Him.  Jesus has made many promises in the Bible and every single one of them has come true.  I know what He says will take place.  He says He will return and take us home.

In Isaiah 60:18 it says, “Violence shall no longer be heard in your land, neither wasting nor destruction within your borders”.  In Heaven, there will be no violence.  I remember when I was growing up, I was allowed to play outside without adult supervision.  I could go to a friend’s house and we could roam our area with no fear.  Today, as a parent, my daughter is not allowed out of my sight.  My husband and I do not allow our daughter to play outside without someone watching her.  There is a fear for her that was not there when I was a kid.  Kidnapping was a fear when I was a kid.  Today, the fear is trafficking.  It is a very real fear.  When our family goes somewhere outside of our small town, we are constantly on alert.  It is not that we don’t trust God to protect us, cause we do trust Him.  It is that we have to be aware of our surroundings.  When my husband honks at someone, my initials response is, “Hun, I don’t want to get shot.” You never know if you are honking at the wrong person. Make the wrong person mad, and they will take action.  There have been many stories of people with road rage shooting at the other vehicle.  Unfortunately, that is a real fear.  Just imagine when we are in Heaven.  That fear will be non-existent.  Our children can run free and play without fear of being taken, run over, or shot at.  There will be no fear of anyone breaking into our house and stealing our belongings.  There will be zero identity theft, serial killers, rapers, or arsonists.  There will be zero violence in Heaven.  

In Isaiah 65:25, it says, “The wolf and the lamb shall feed together, and the lion shall eat straw like the bullock: and dust shall be the serpent’s meat.  They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain,” saith the Lord.”  According to animalplanet.com, the most feared animals include: the American alligator, coyotes, American black bear, pigeons, sharks, bats, bed bugs, rats and mice, rattlesnake, and the black widow.¹ Many of these I can understand.  Their behaviors can be unpredictable.  Sin has caused us to fear animals.  People are afraid of animals due to the harm they can do. Many animals have a bite that is deadly or can cause a tremendous amount of damage.  But in Heaven all of these animals will be gentle.  They will not bite.  Their diet will not consist of meat.  Wolves and lambs, which are enemies now, will lie together and eat together.  And snakes, which seem to be one of the most feared animals, will no longer be feared.  Snakes will eat dust and not be venomous.  There will be no reason to fear them.  There will be no invasive species in Heaven.  They will not destroy the land or hurt people or other creatures.  I look forward to the day when I can lie down with a lion or have an actual bear hug.  No longer will I have to go the zoo and see animals behind bars or go to a petting zoo just to see and touch animals.  In Heaven, the animals will be able to come up to us and there will be no fear of them.   “There shall be nothing to “hurt nor destroy in all My holy mountain, saith the Lord.” Isaiah 65:25. There man will be restored to his lost kingship, and the lower order of beings will again recognize his sway; the fierce will become gentle, and the timid trustful.” Education page 304 paragraph 14

In Revelation 21:4, it says, "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying.  There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”  Oh what a day that will be.  In less than four years we have lost my mother-in-law, a baby, my father-in-law, my grandmother, a co-worker, a woman who was like a grandmother to our daughter, and another co-worker.  To say I am ready for death to be done with is an understatement.  I look forward to the day I no longer cry because someone has died.  I look forward to no longer being sad.  There will be no more depression or anxiety.  There will be no need for hospitals because no one will be sick.  There will be no surgeries, stitches, medicines, diseases, pestilences.  COVID-19 will no longer be a fear. There will be no more quarantine.  People won’t be stocking up on toilet paper.  Actually, I am not even sure if we will need toilet paper in Heaven.  Hospice, ambulances, and fire stations will no longer be necessary.  All the pain from this earth will be erased.  What a day that will be.  

In Isaiah 65:17, it says, “For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; and the former shall not be remembered or come to mind.”  I will no longer remember my mother walking out, the abuse I experienced, the miscarriages, the pain I have gone through.  None of that.  The memories will be lost forever to never be found.  I won’t be sad when I see little girls with their mothers.  I won’t hurt when I see families together and not hurting each other.  I won’t cry when I see babies.  That pain will be gone.  The history that is taught in schools will no longer be needed.  The Holocaust, World Wars, 9/11, slavery, racism, genocides.  All will be forgotten.  Going to the Grand Canyon gives evidence of a flood.  Auschwitz gives evidence of hatred.  The Colosseum is evidence of persecution.  All of these places will be destroyed when the new earth is created.  There will no longer be reminders of the sins of the past.  Only reminder we will have are the scars in Jesus’ hands and feet. 

In Isaiah 65: 21-23, it says, “And they shall build houses, and inhabit them; and they shall plant vineyards, and eat the fruit of them.  They shall not build, and another inhabit; they shall not plant, and another eat: for as the days of a tree and the days of my people, and mine let shall long enjoy the work of their hands. They shall not labor in vain, nor bring forth for trouble; for they are the seed of the blessed of the Lord, and their offspring with them.”  I know in John 14, Jesus tells His disciples that He has prepared mansions.  But in the new earth, we will build our own houses.  Imagine being able to build your own house.  Each one of us will be architects.  There will not be a need to hire one.  We can design our house the way we want them.  In my geometry class, I have the students create a floor plan of their dream house.  They each do a great job creating their dream.  In the new earth, we each can create our dream home to perfection.  We won’t get splinters or accidentally hit our finger with a hammer.  Our measurements won’t be off.  We won’t have to start over due to mistakes.  And the house we build will be ours.  There are many architects and carpenters that create and build homes for other people.  They do not get chance to live in their own creation.  But in the new earth, we each will be carpenters and architects and will get this chance.  We each will be gardeners as well.  I have never had much of a green thumb.  I’ve tried planting and growing before with little to no success.  But in the new earth, there will be 100% success.  As much as I hate peas now, I know that I won’t in Heaven.  I will be able to eat blueberries, cantaloupe, tomatoes, and dandelion without an allergic reaction.  That would be amazing.  Oh, how I miss eating those things.  But in Heaven, I will be able to eat anything that grows on the trees or in the garden.  No hives, anaphylaxis, no itching, no burning, no fear.  And everything will taste delicious.  Even peas.  Not only will we build our houses, grow our own gardens, but we will enjoy it.  There will be happiness in the growing and building.  It won’t be a chore, but a joy.  “There will be happiness in the growing and building.  It won’t be a chore, but a joy.   In the earth made new, the redeemed will engage in the occupations and pleasures that brought happiness to Adam and Eve in the beginning. The Eden life will be lived, the life in garden and field. “They shall build houses, and inhabit them; and they shall plant vineyards, and eat the fruit of them. They shall not build, and another inhabit; they shall not plant, and another eat: for as the days of a tree are the days of my people, and mine elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands.” There I saw most glorious houses, that had the appearance of silver, supported by four pillars set with pearls most glorious to behold. These were to be inhabited by the saints. In each was a golden shelf. I saw many of the saints go into the houses, take off their glittering crowns and lay them on the shelf, then go out into the field by the houses to do something with the earth; not as we have to do with the earth here; no, no. A glorious light shone all about their heads, and they were continually shouting and offering praises to God.”⁴

In 2 Peter 3:13, it says, “Nevertheless we, according to His promise, look for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells.” Righteousness will dwell there in Heaven.  It is hard to look around and see righteousness here on earth.  Billboards, ads, commercials, clothing, websites, books, magazines and more are all filled with unrighteousness.  You can’t watch a television program without seeing women in scantily clad clothing, crude jokes, alcohol, drugs, self-seeking pleasure, or even normalization of non-Biblical lifestyles.  It is everywhere.  We can shelter our kids as much as we want, but it is still there.  Want to watch a Christian song on Youtube?  Okay, here’s an ad for a horror movie.  How about a sermon?  Oh, wait, here is an ad for alcohol.  In Heaven, there will be none of that.  The temptations of this world will be eradicated.   We can safely go anywhere or look at anything without fear of seeing something demoralizing.  Righteousness will be everywhere while sin will not be found.  

In Revelation 22:1-4, it says, “And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb.  In the middle of its streets, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month.  And the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. And the curse, but the throne of God and the Lamb shall be in it, and His servants shall serve Him.  They shall see His face, and His name shall be on their foreheads.” First of all, my fear of water will be gone.  Praise the Lord!  This water will be pure, clear, and free of anything that doesn’t belong in it.  If we are able to lie with the lions, imagine swimming with a great white shark.  But this water flows from the throne of God.  The purest water is the water that comes directly out of its source.  This water comes from God’s throne.  How much more pure can it be? But in Heaven, this water will always be pure.  The amazing thing is that there will be the tree of life and a lack of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Can you imagine seeing the tree of life growing twelve different fruits each month? Each tree on earth produces fruit for the season.  Only one fruit.  No tree that I know of produces more than one type of fruit.  We serve a mighty God, wouldn’t you say? Also, we will be healed.  The curse of sin will be gone.  His name will be on our foreheads.  How amazing is all of that?  

All of these are amazing.  But there is a song by the Nebblett family that goes, “Last night I had the strangest dream, an angel carried me to heaven’s gates.  Glory flowed out a golden stream, the angel said, ‘Go right in, celebrate!’ But then the angel asked me, ‘what if Jesus wasn’t there? What if He were still out on a cross somewhere?  What would you say?  What would you do? Would you go in and wait for Him in heaven, or is Jesus Heaven to you?’”²  In Isaiah 25:9, it says, “And it will be said in that day: “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him, and He will save us.”  I have waited for Him!  Heaven is not the same without Jesus.  He came as a child to earth to give His life for each one of us.  When He was on the cross, we were on His mind.  There is no doubt about that.  Before Adam and Eve sinned, the plan of salvation was in place.  Revelation 13:8 says that He is the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.  What a source of joy to the disciples to know that they had such a Friend in heaven to plead in their behalf! Through the visible ascension of Christ all their views and contemplation of heaven are changed. Their minds had formerly dwelt upon it as a region of unlimited space, tenanted by spirits without substance. Now heaven was connected with the thought of Jesus, whom they had loved and reverenced above all others, with whom they had conversed and journeyed, whom they had handled, even in His resurrected body, who had spoken hope and comfort to their hearts, and who, while the words were upon His lips, had been taken up before their eyes, the tones of His voice coming back to them as the cloudy chariot of angels received Him: “Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.”³ The disciples realized that Jesus was their great reward.  

Revelation 21:1-3 says, “Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also, there was no more sea.  Then, I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, ‘Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God himself will be with them and be their God.’” I remember preparing for our wedding.  It took months to get everything ready.  But the wedding wasn’t the most important thing to me.  Spending my life with my husband was truly the important thing.  Making sure that our life together went according to God’s plan. I really don’t remember all we did to prepare.  I know we went to pre-marital counseling, decided on outfits, sent out invitations, and discussed what life would be like once we were married.  We are His bride.  We are His people.  Are we going to pre-marital counseling, church and Bible study?  Are we deciding what we are going to wear, His righteousness?  Are we sending out invitations, letting others know about His soon return?  Are we talking about Heaven and life with Jesus?  When the New Jerusalem comes down, our life with Him will be of most importance. Knowing the sacrifice Jesus made for each one of us is my main reason for wanting to be in Heaven.  I can spend eternity with the One who gave His life for me.  There are many people that have received organ donations over the years.  Many of the survivors never got the chance to thank their organ donors due to the death of the donor.  But we will have a chance to spend eternity with our donor.  Jesus Christ.  He donated His body for our salvation.  All of the other reasons are amazing reasons.  They are wonderful.  But without Jesus, they don’t mean much.  He completes the package.  He is my Great Reward.

I look forward to eternity with Jesus.  This is possible only by God's amazing grace.

¹“Top 10 Animals That Scare Us the Most.” Animal Planet, 14 Dec. 2014, www.animalplanet.com/wild-animals/top-ten-scary-animals/.

²”Strangest dream lyrics by Nebblett family” Youtube, 7 Jul. 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuvumpGEnUY

3 “Heaven.” Ellen G. White Writings, m.egwwritings.org/en/book/36.276#277.

⁴“BibleTools.info.” BibleTools.info, bibletools.info/.

The Wall

I have a little annoying habit.  I can turn almost anything into a song.  And I sing it.  To the displeasure of those around me.  The hubs calls me a walking Disney movie.  I even wrote a song about remembering to put your name on your paper.  My poor Hubs is subject to songs galore.

So a song has been going through my head all day.  "I fought the wall and the wall won.  I fought the wall and the wall won." 

Give me a minute.

I had to clean out the laundry room of our clean clothes. I placed them in the clothes basket in our bedroom.  Little Bit was sorting through them getting her clothes out and tossed some hangers here and there.  I've been a wee bit busy and have not had a chance to clean up after her.  So this morning there were still hangers on the floor at the end of the bed, my personal walking space out of the bedroom.  

This morning I had to go back into my room to grab something when I stepped on one of the strewn hangers.  The hanger broke and slipped under my foot.  My foot decided it wanted to slip as well.  I believed I could fly.  I was wrong and landed head first into a brick wall.  

I screamed.  I may have cried.  A lot.  The hubs came running into the room.  "Wife?!"  "I'm here, on the floor." "Get up!"  "I can't." Through sobs, I slowly got up with his help.  Sitting on the bed, holding my head, The Hubs gets me ibuprofen.  

My head was burning where I hit.  Vision in my left eye was slightly off.  I was dizzy.  But mostly in immense amounts of pain.  My foot hurt from the hanger.  My head hurt from the wall.  

I fought the wall and the wall won.  I fought the wall and the wall won.  

See, here's the thing.  The wall is an immovable object.  I'm not huge into science, but I do know that if my head runs into an immovable object, the immovable object will not move.  Instead, I will have a bump on my head and the wall will not be affect at all.  

So I have walking around with a huge headache all day.  And of course a song.  "I fought the wall and the wall won.  I fought the wall and the wall won."

Here's the thing.  I fell.  I got hurt.  I didn't think I could get up, but I did.  I needed help, but I got up. I didn't let the fall keep me down.  

Proverbs 24:16 says, "For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity."  

That's right.  The righteous fall and get up each time.  They do not allow things to keep them down.  Not sins or shortcomings.  Not hurtful words or rumors.  Not enemies or backstabbers.  Not even a wall.  I can tell you that I felt like staying down after my head hit the wall.   But I was able to get up, with help.  That's part of the key.  With help.

There are times you are going to fall.  We live in a sinful world.  Perfection has not been reached, yet.  But when you fall, get up again.  Ask God for help to get up.  Do not stay down.  Not by might, nor by power, but by His Spirit.  Get up again.  I got knocked down, but I got up again.  I'm not going to let this world keep me down.  Not even a wall.  But this is only possible By God's Amazing Grace.

Through the Lense

The Hubs and I have picked up a new hobby.  Photography.  I have loved taking pictures since I learned how to use a camera.  I love taking pictures of nature.  I remember when I was younger, Grandma would always tell me I should take pictures of people for the memories. We would then develop the film and 99 percent of the pictures would be of nature.  And it is still true to this day.  Very rarely will I take pictures of people.  But now I would like to learn how to effectively do so.

So the other night on our walk, I came across this alcove.  The trees went deep into the area.  Open and free on the outside and the trees lined the inside.  It was beautiful.  I could see past the grass, the weeds, and the branches to the shadows of the alcove.  I could see into the maze of beauty.  So I wanted a reminder of what I currently saw and I wanted to shared this beauty with others.  So I raised the camera and prepared it to take a permanent memory in digital form.  The problem? My camera wouldn't go past the grass and weeds.  It wouldn't focus on the depths of the alcove, only on what was immediately visible.

I began to realize my eyes were like how God sees us and the camera was like how we see each other.  God looks past our weeds, or sins.  He can see past it and can look into our hearts.  He can see the beauty within us.  God says in 1 Samuel 16:7, "Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

But as my camera could not see past the weeds, we, as humans, cannot , or choose not, to look past the sins of others.  We choose not to look past what God has already forgiven.  We cannot, we choose not, to see the beauty within.  We cannot see the heart of others.  But we need to see as Jesus sees.  We need to forgive as Jesus forgives.  Then we can see past all the hurts, all the habits, all the past sins.  We don't need a digital reminder of our sins because when God forgives us, He throws our sins into the depths of the sea.  We need to choose what we see.

I saw beauty.  I want to see that beauty in others  just like God sees beauty in others.  I choose to look for beauty. But this is only possible By God's Amazing Grace.

After the Wedding

The date was August 5, 2007.  I was so nervous as I was getting my dress on and trying to make sure everything went exactly as I planned.  Everything down to the table cloth, which was changed at the last minute on me.  (I'm thankful now that they were, but at the time, I was a little peeved.)  You see, I am what some would like to call a control freak.  But I definitely wanted my wedding day to be perfect.  Let's just say it was far from perfect.  You know, though, it is not about the wedding day.  It is about the days that follow.  I have learned that.  I still remember when I was standing in front of my soon to be husband.  I was looking into his eyes when I saw the tears coming.  I looked straight at him and used my teacher look and mouthed "you better stop crying right now."  We still laugh at that.  I knew if he started to cry, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from crying.  I did not want to cry.  And I didn't.

The days that followed were a little crazy.  I had to go to work.  We had to buy a new car by the end of the first week.  But all in all, the first few weeks were amazing.

The next few months were a struggle.  The hubs was having a hard time finding a job.  I was working full time as a teacher.  The drive was an hour and 20 minutes one way without traffic.  We had to move closer to my job.  And to top it off, I had people telling me it was ok if I left my husband.  We had been married less than 6 months at this time.  And one of the people telling me this was an elder at our church.  I couldn't believe it.  So to say the first year of our marriage was rocky is an understatement.  I learned to stop talking to people about what was going on in our marriage.  That was a hard lesson to learn.  But I am glad I learned it early on in our marriage.

At the end of 2008, we got pregnant.  I wasn't too happy.  I really didn't want kids. But I knew The Hubs did and I wanted to give him a child. When I told people, I didn't get any excitement from them.  We went on a mini vacation to San Antonio, TX.  We had a blast.  A month after we got back, we had our first doctor's appointment.  We had a lot of questions.  After the doctor answered our questions, she prepared me to use the doppler to hear the heart beat.  She couldn't find it.  She said it was normal.  She excitely said that we would be able to see the baby early and use the sonogram.  She then explained that sometimes it is hard to see the heartbeat this early from an abdominal sonogram so let's try from the inside.  It was quite clear that the baby had no heartbeat and was no longer living.  The tears began to start streaming.  We took the next steps to help the baby leave the womb.  I would have been 11 weeks then.

As heartbreaking as a misscarriage is, God was able to use it to bless our family.  If it wasn't for the miscarriage, my desire for a child would not have been there.  People say you don't know what you are missing until it is gone.  How true.  Three months after our miscarriage, I began to have a desire to have a child.  And David reminds us in Psalm 37:4 "Delight thyself also in the Lord ; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."  In May of 2009, I became pregnant again.  This time was totally different.  I was very excited and very nervous.  We didn't want to tell anyone until we heard the heartbeat.  We finally heard the heartbeat that summer.  I cried again, but this time tears of joy.  We began telling the world.

In August of 2009, The Hubs decided he wanted to quit playing video games.  He played almost all the time, it seemed.  And these were high action, adrenaline video games.  He also wanted to quit drinking caffeine.  He was drinking a 24 pack of high caffeine soda at least every week.  He decided, with God's help, to quit both.  At the same time.  Cold turkey.  The withdraw symptoms were horrible.  He ended up in the ER.  That weekend we went and spent time with a friend for her birthday.  While there, he confided in the husband of the family.  I was called into the conversation.  The Hubs is holding my hand, with tears in his eyes.  I am so confused.  He can barely look at me.  He then tells me that he has an addiction.  I am stunned.  Shocked.  What? My husband?  No.  That's not possible.  You're a Christian.  You're not supposed to be into that kind of stuff.  I couldn't move.  Only the tears moved as they rolled down my cheeks.  But I made a vow.  For better or for worse.  In sickness or in health.  I knew God could work through this situation.  I told him I wasn't going anywhere.  We would get through this.

So now I had major trust issues.  My self-esteem was shot.  I began blaming myself.  We had a lot to work through.  And we have.  He has trusted God to help him overcome.  God has worked through me to trust him and to realize it is not my fault.  God has blessed our marriage.  The Hubs has overcome his addiction.  I praise God for that.  God has given me strength to support my husband.  I couldn't have done that without the help of God.

In January of 2010, our bundle of joy was born.  Little Bit was not little in any way.  She was 10 pounds 9 ounces.  Yes, she was born by cesarean section.  So yes, my husband knows me inside and out.  We have quite a long journey with Little Bit.  She is special needs, which by no means makes her less than.  She has taught us so many lessons.  Especially on love and forgiveness.  She is an amazing girl.  She is a gift from God for sure.

The next few years have been a blur.  We moved from Texas to Colorado to Illinois.  In all of that, I have controlled the situations.  I have controlled where we live, how we spend our money, what our marriage should look like.  I was making almost all of the deicsions.  Not because The Hubs wouldn't do it, but because I wouldn't let him.  I am such a control freak.  Our marriage wasn't perfect, but I knew it could be better.  I was wondering if I was part of the problem.  I began to study marriage and the role of the husband and wife.  I wanted God to be the center of our marriage and I wanted our marriage to be a Godly one.  So I studied.  A LOT.

After studying marriage itself, which is the post before this one, I went to Ephesians 5.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;  That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,  That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:  For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.  This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.  Ephesians 5:22‭-‬33

That word submit.  I had a hard time with it.  Why should I HAVE to submit?  I'm not less than my husband.  I'm not a slave.  I'm an adult.  I don't have to submit to anyone but God.  When I say God spoke to me, I mean it.  He lead me through these texts and showed me what they really mean.  Cause the world view of submit and God's definition are soooooo different.

Submit means to place in a certain order, to appoint.  To be under his responsibility.  To obey.

Wives were created after man, the husband.  Adam had dominion over all the animals.  Eve was created after.  I should obey my husband the same way i obey God, as long as The Hub is in line with what God says.  It is not a matter of he says jump and I ask how high.  It is not about asking for permission to do something.  It is about discussion.  It is about respecting my husband's position as the head of the house, head of the family.  I don't ask him for permission to do things.  I let him know what I want to do.  If he doesn't think it is a good idea, I don't do it.  But we discuss it.  We make the decision together.  Our communication benefits from my "submitting" to him.  And he has become much stronger in leading.  Because I allow him to lead.  What a difference it makes.

In verse 23, we see the parallel of the church and the family.  The wife is similar to the church and the husband is similar to Jesus.  Jesus is the head of the church.  If He is not, then there is something amiss in the church.  Jesus is the foundation.  He is the cornerstone because He is the "Head".

In verse 26, there are two words I want to point out.  Sanctify and Cleanse.  Sanctify means to dedicate and make holy.  Something that has been sanctified has been made separate from profane things.  And Cleanse means to free from defilement, to consecrate and to dedicate.  When we wash with water in the church is a form of baptism.    We die to self and are reborn when we are baptized.

So in verse 27, the church is dedicated and consecrated for God and He can present each of us without blemish.

Then in verse 33, love in this sense is agape, which is to love dearly.  And reverence is struck with amazement and obedience.

So if I put this all together, I can see that the wife represents the church and the church is married to Jesus.  The church is the bride.  The bride is saved because of obedience to Jesus.  Jesus will sanctify and cleanse the church.  The church will be separate from the world and will be free from defilement.  This is throuh Jesus washing the church with water, not because the church cleansed itself.  The church made a choice.  Jesus is also the cornerstone of the church.  Without Jesus, the church would be spiritually dead.  Now let's replace chuch with wife and Jesus with husband.

The wife is saved because of obedience to the husband.  The husband will sanctify and clease the wife.  The wife will be separate from the world and will be free from defilment.  This is through the husband washing the wife through getting into the Bible.  The husband should be leading daily family worship and the wife joins in.  The wife made a choice.  The husband is the cornerstone of the family.  Without the husband, the wife would be spiritually dead.

Of course this applies to a Godly husband.  He, too, is dedicated to God.  He, too, has been cleansed and sanctified.  This must happend first before he can be the Godly leader he was set out to be.

Since I have learned all this, our marriage has been so different.  We communicate better.  Things move smoothly.  There is less hostility.  I love my husband differently because I see him differently.  I see him as the man of God he is.  I have given up the control I once held in our relationship.  I also allow God to lead more in my life instead of forcing my own will.  This August we will have been married 10 years.  Our marriage is stronger and we are more grounded in the faith.  It is amazing what God can do when we do things His way.

As I have studied the marriage, we began to discuss having another child.  Little Bit was 6 and we thought maybe she would be ready to have a sibling.  But then we decided, as a husband and wife, that we did not want to have another child.  Did we really want to start over?  Would Little Bit make a good big sister?  Would they even get along.  We decided we wouldn't try to grow our family.

Obviously things don't always go as planned.  I got pregnant in 2016.  The timing was actually great because the due date was the end of May.  I could finish out the school year and have the full summer to recover. We began talking about our plans for after baby.  The Hubs would find a full time job and I would be a stay at home wife.  I was struggling with that idea.  I have never not worked.  I was putting it into God's hands.  I knew He would give me the strength and courage for whatever we decided to do.

We went in for our first appointment at 7 weeks along.  I was so scared.  I didn't want a repeat of our first pregnancy.  Even though we decided we didn't want another child, I was so excited about having a child.  She did a sonogram because of my history.  The baby looked like Jonny 5 from Short Circuit.  And the heartbeat was strong.  We were 99% sure we were having a boy based on a few theories.  We decided we would name him Jonathan Victor.  It means God gives victory.

The next four weeks went by soooooooooo slow.  It was crazy.  Time has never passed by so slowly in my life before.  I was still extremely nervous.  Safe zone isn't until 12 weeks.  I was sitting on pins and needles waiting for our next appointment.

Finally the day of the appointment came.  I wasn't feeling great mentally.  I was talking to doctor about how to get out of the funk.  How could I be so excited, but feel that way?  It didn't make sense.  She said let's get some good news and hear the heartbeat.  She set me up for the doppler.  I was a little disappointed she was using the sonogram.  I wanted to see my Jonny 5.

She was struggling to heartbeat.  My heart ached.

She went to the sonogram.  Something was awry.  She had to send me to a specialist to be able to get a clear picture of baby.

My heart sunk.

I already knew.

Not again.

Even a I type this, tears are forming.

We had lost the baby the week prior.  There was no heartbeat.  I was 11 weeks along.  I hate Deja vu.

The hubs met me outside the doctor's office as I was walking out.  He just embraced me and I profusely appologized as if it were my fault.  And he just held me and loved me.

Just like the first loss, God has taught me a lesson.  "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28.  He isn't the One who took my Jonathan.  But He can use it for His purpose.  He has taught me to be content with the family I have.  I am happy with our little family of 3.  I don't need another child to feel complete.  I need another child to feel more like a woman.  Those feelings were strong before my pregnancy.  God has laid to rest those feelings of unworthiness because we didn't have more than one child.

We have had an amazing journey in our marriage of almost 10 years.  But God has been there every step of the way.  He is holding us up with His righteous right hand.  He's got us etched in the palm of His hand.  We are learning to trust Him more and more each day.  But this is only possible By God's Amazing Grace.

And They Became One Flesh

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.  Genesis 1:1
He spoke light into existence. He separated the water from the waters and made air.  He created the flowers, trees, grass.  He placed the stars in the sky, the sun to shine during the day, and the moon to shine during the night.  He created birds and fish.  He created all the land animals.  Then He formed man from the dust of the ground.  After looking around on that sixth day, God saw that each animal had a partner.  There was Mr. and Mrs. Giraffe, Mr. and Mrs. Monkey, Mr. and Mrs. Penguin.  But there was only a Mr. Man.  "And the Lord said it is not good for man to be alone.  I will make a help meet for him." Genesis 2:18  "And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;  And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.  And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." Genesis 2:21‭-‬25.  So not only did God create animals and man on the sixth day, He created marriage.

But it is more than that.  He created more than JUST marriage.  First, He created a "help meet" for Adam.  He created someone who helps, someone to provide assistance  and support in times of hardship and distress.  So the wife was created to support and assist the husband.   Second, He "made" a woman.  Made means to build a house and establish a family.  When God made Eve, He created the family unit.  He created the first house.  He created her and then lead Eve to Adam.  God leads us to the one He created for us.  Third, when Adam called Eve "woman", he was using the term wife.  He said "bone of my bone.  Flesh of my flesh.  She will be called wife because she is part of me."  Eve not only was physically a part of Adam, she was figuratively a part of Adam.  Husbands and wives are a part of each other.  They are not complete when separate.  And finally, when He says, a man shall "leave" his father and mother, He is saying, "husbands, forsake, let go, and set free your parents.  It is time to "cleave", or cling to, your wife and you shall be one "flesh".  You shall be one person, one body,"  When we marry, we become one family unit.  Husbands and wives are a united front.  Nothing should divide them.  This is also referenced in Matthew 19:5 when Jesus says, "Man shall forsake his mom and dad, set them free, and cling to his wife and become one body, one person."

God created the family unit on day six.  One man.  One woman.  One united front.

So if God created marriage and the family unit, wouldn't it be a good thing?  Statistics show that fewer people are getting married.  Only about 50% of the population is actually married.  According to this, marriage is not a good thing.  But  what does the Bible say?  We find the answer in Proverbs 18:22 when we are told that "whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord."  Obtained means to bring out, produce.  Favor is pleasure, delight, and goodwill.  So whoever finds a wife, brings outs delight from the Lord.  I would say that marriage is a good thing.  I sure hope The Hubs has seen the delight of Lord because of me.

What is even more shocking than the fact that only around 50% of people even are married is that 41% of those marriages end in divorce.  Divorce is not only an issue today.  It was also an issue in the days of Jesus.  We see this in Mark 10 when the Pharisees came to tempt Jesus and ask Him about divorce.  They asked Him if divorce was legal, to try to trick Him.  So it had to be an issue.  When Jesus answers, He reminds them that God made male and female, husband and wife in the beginning and that they are one flesh.  So He responds with "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Mark 10:9.  Asunder actually means to separate one's self from.  So He is telling the Pharisees that God ordained marriage, and if He joined the two together, no one should separate one's self from themselves.  If they are one flesh and they divorce, wouldn't they be separating from themself?  But the key is "What God has joined together." God lead Eve to Adam.  I know God lead me to The Hubs.  We are one flesh and I am incomplete without him.  I can't imagine trying to tear myself apart into two separate people.

Paul tries to help husbands and wives stay away from divorce.  He gives advice to both the husband and to the wife on how to have a happy marriage.  In 1 Corinthians chapter 7, we find some notes.  In verse 2, he tells us to avoid fornication and to have one husband/one wife.  He is telling the couple that to be able to prevent improper sexual interactions, they need to be closely joined to their husband/wife.  Verse three says, "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband."  The husband should promise under oath and deliver goodwill to his wife and should the wife do the same.  To prevent adultry, remember that the husband and wife are one.  That is how marriage was created.  If they stick by one another, if they are closely joined together, fornication wouldn't be the temptation it is.  If Adam had stayed by Eve, she wouldn't have fallen to temptation.  Husbands and wives need to stay togther. Remain the united front.

So God created man and woman, husband and wife, the marriage, and the family unit.  When He created Eve, He LEAD her to Adam.  He leads us to the one we are to marry.  Marriage is a good thing because He created it.  We are able to produce pleasure from the Lord when we marry the one He created for us.  What He joins, we should not separate.  How can one separate themself from themself?  We are ONE FLESH.  We need to protect ourselves from temptation that defiles the marriage bed by sticking close to our spouse.  It is when we separate ourselves from our spouse that temptation arises, like what happened with Adam and Eve.

The Bible shows that the statistics don't have to be your statistics.  The Bible has some of the greatest marriage advice.  A happy marriage is possible.  But it is only possible By God's Amazing Grace.

*If you are in an abusive relationship, please find help.  The Bible does not condone abuse.  There is help available.