Making a List

You know what I despise about the idea of sleep?  That it is just that, an idea.  There are nights where it never comes to fruition, like tonight.  I want to sleep.  I go to bed ready to fall into a restful sleep but am met by tosses and turns instead.  Sleep seems to be right at my fingertips, but I can't seem to get a good enough grip on it.  Instead of sleeping, I am being teased by an idea.  It taunts me. 

So on nights like tonight, a couple different things happen.  If people's names come to mind, I pray for them.  And sometimes I just pray for random people if no one comes to mind.  I get up and read.  For hours.  Then go back to bed and get taunted by sleep yet again.  And since my brain does not have an off switch, I think.  A lot.  Seriously.  I get some of my best ideas while sleep evades me.  Which is a blessing and a curse. 

Something I did tonight to help my brain relax was make a list.  Things that need to be done within the next two days.  I don't always make lists.  But I did tonight.  I did not want what I have to take care of tomorrow and Wednesday to be running through my mind preventing me from sleeping.  And they weren't.  But other things were, obviously.

One thing I like about lists is checking things off that have been completed.  When we were preparing to move, I kept an inventory list of what was being packed.  Each box was numbered with a specific sticky note.  Each color sticky note was a specific location.  For example, an orange sticky signified Little Bit's room.  Then in a note pad, I had each room on a separate page.  I would write down the sticky number and the contents of that box.  Once all of our stuff arrived to our new home (two weeks after we did), I was able to know when a room was complete by looking at the inventory list.  Once a box was unpacked and its contents put away, I marked off the box from my list.  When all boxes were marked off, I wrote in huge letters "COMPLETE!!!".  It was quite rewarding.  Especially when I was able to write complete on my last page.  I am not a big list person, but when I make lists, I do them big.

But not everything needs a list.  There are things that would be a waste of time to create a list for, like cleaning the house.  It would take me longer to make a list than to clean.  That's only because I would get distracted by the multiple colored pens.  I'm sorry, I'm easily amused.  I don't need a list for cooking.  Every once in a blue moon I might need a recipe.  But for the most part, a list is not needed. 

Most importantly, my walk with God does not need a checklist.  God doesn't have some big list for me to complete before He will give me the free gift of salvation.  God did give the Ten Commandments.  But He did not give them as a list to follow to earn salvation.  I don't follow them to earn it.  I follow them because I love God and want to do so.  Jesus told us in Matthew 22:36-40 that the greatest commandments were 1-to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind and 2-to love our neighbor as ourselves.  If I love God, then I will follow the commandments, specifically the first four.  If love my neighbor, I will follow the commandments, specifically the last six. 

I love The Hubs.  He is my strength on a daily basis.  Because I love him and have a relationship with him, I don't want to hurt him.  I don't want to take anything that belongs to him (except maybe a few bites off his plate).  I don't want to put another man before him where I share the same thoughts I have towards my husband.  I definitely don't want to take his life.  I do my very best to always tell him the truth.  It is because of the love I have towards The Hubs that I don't do these things.  It is also because of my love for God.   It is because He loved me first that it is possible.  

The fact that we don't have this huge to do list to earn salvation is apparent in Luke 3 when John the Baptist is baptizing people.  A tax collector asked him, "What should I do to be saved?"  He wasn't given this list of things to do to be saved.  It was one simple thing.  Don't take more than what is appointed for you to take.  In other words, don't steal from those you are collecting taxes.  Soldiers asked the same question.  The response was simple.  They were to not intimidate or falsely accuse anyone. 

Both the tax collectors and the soldiers asked simple questions.  Both received simple responses.  And it comes right back to love.  Love for God and love for others.  When we do theses two things, the relationship that ensues is one where we don't want to hurt others.  We don't want to lie or kill or steal, we don't want to put anyone before God or use His name in vain. 


I want the free gift of salvation.  But I can't earn it by completing a check list.  I can make a choice to accept or reject it.  But there is nothing I can do.  Because I choose to accept it, I show my appreciation by loving God and others.  I want my actions to show that I love God.  I want my actions to show that I appreciate this free gift that no one else can offer.  But this is possible only By God's Amazing Grace.

Wet Feet

I did something that shocked quite a few people recently.  I got into the lake.  The water came up to mid calf.  It was chilly but not terrible.  And a couple days before that, I got my feet wet...in the lake.

Why was this such a shock?  Because of my immense fear of the water.  Not just any water.  Water that does not come out of the faucet or that is in a swimming pool.  So oceans, lakes, rivers, ponds, streams.  Nope, won't touch them with a ten foot pole.

Until the other day.  What made the difference?  Little Bit.  She made all the difference.  I don't want her to be afraid of the water.  Therefore, I don't want her to see my fear.  A fear that is sometimes crippling.  I want her to feel secure.  So I went into the water with her.  And she had a blast. 

I survived it.  So, I guess I could say that it was somewhat fun. 

Was I scared?  For most of the time.  But when I took my focus off of my fear and put it onto Little Bit to ensure she had a good time, I began to relax.  A tad.  I eventually had to switch off with The Hubs.  I gave the excuse I wanted to take pictures.  Which, by the way, is very true.  But as I was taking pictures, my feet were still in the water.  (Go ME!!)

I know why I am afraid of water, but that situation is so far removed that it should not be an excuse any more.   I should not be afraid of water.  For one, God created the water.  I am afraid of something He spoke into existence.  And two, I have a Protector. 

Does this mean I can just get in the water without even thinking about it?  Haha.  No.  Not yet, at least.  Baby steps.

Do you remember the story of Peter?  One of my blogs is about him.  "Where is Your Focus".  I wonder if Peter felt like I do when he asked Jesus to allow him to come on the water.  Maybe he was trying to act all tough by getting out on the water.  Maybe, maybe not.  But as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus, he wasn't afraid.  When he took them off of Jesus, he became afraid and started to sink.  Once I took my focus off of my fear and put it onto my daughter, I began to relax.  It is all about the focus.  Am I going to focus on my fear and be paralyzed?  Or am I going to focus on something else, preferably God, and enjoy myself?  I want to do the latter.  I need to do the latter.  It is a work in progress.

This reminds me of the verse in 2 Timothy 1:7 where we are told that God does not give us the spirit of fear but of love, power, and self-control.  God loves me enough to give me the power to face my fears and control my fears so that I am not afraid.  If He did not give me the fear, then I should not be afraid.

But it is so hard.  It is much easier being afraid.  But I miss out on life due to my fears.  Especially now that I live five minutes from the lake.

I know that I can overcome this fear.  I know that I can be strong for Little Bit.  I know that I can be strong for me.  And I know I can put my focus on Him so that I am not afraid. But this is only possible By God's Amazing Grace.