God's timing is perfect. He has proved this to me so many times in my life. I know this is true, but there are times in my life I act like a toddler who doesn't get exactly what she wants. I may not throw myself on the ground, but I might throw a fit. I want it, and I want it now. There is one time that I saw God working in my life, opening and closing doors, mending hearts, preparing lives. Well, more than one time, but one specific event.
In Ecclesiastes 3:8, Solomon tells us "there is a time to love, and a time to hate...". This could not be truer.
I was 15 years old. I already had it set in my mind that I would never get married. I would never have kids. My main focus would be on my education. That summer I joined a Summer Youth Group at a church in Mesquite. I made lots of friends that summer including one guy named Gabriel. By the end of the summer,I heard a rumor that he liked me. But in my mind, it would be a waste of time, for the both of us, to pursue any kind of relationship, other than friendship. I made it clear to him that I never intended on getting married.
The following February he asked me to be his valentine. This did not mean anything to me, so I said sure. It was just a word. And what would one day hurt?
Through the next few years, I dated a guy or two. The relationships went no where. I didn't want them to go anywhere. I was not looking for love. I was not looking for marriage. I think it was more of the idea of having a boyfriend. Nothing more.
Gabriel and I were still friends. He knew about my so called boyfriends. He met my so called boyfriends. And yes, I knew he still liked me. I wasn't doing it out of spite. He was my friend. I talked to him like a friend. But I was not interested in him as any more than just a friend.
A few more years went by. He went off to academy then college. We lost contact. While he was gone, I became friends with his sister. She was there for me like no one else has ever been. I could tell her all my secrets. She knew the depths of my heart. When I felt like life was crashing down, I went and spent the weekend with her. I still believe she saved my life that weekend. That was an amazing weekend. Not only did she help me heal, she put me on the path of my future. She told me about her mom's surprise birthday party. She wanted me to come. I told her I would be there.
Over the next few weeks after returning home, I befriended Gabriel on MySpace (yes, it was THAT long ago.) My feelings for him were still the same, though. I only wanted to be friends. I even informed him of this fact.
But God started working on my heart. I began to want to have someone to spend my life with. I wanted to get married. I wanted to spend my life with a Godly man. I went so far as to make a list of what I wanted in a man that I would marry. I began to pray about that list and I even asked God to help me know who I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I asked for a very specific sign.
Then the weekend of the birthday party. I got there early to help set up. We put up streamers and put out chairs. People started showing up slowly. The guest of honor showed up, as did Gabriel. I had not even thought he would be there. Why not? She is his mother, too. The moment I saw him my heart skipped a beat. He looked...different. Grown up. Mature. I knew life would be different.
Gabriel and I started talking that night as if we never had stopped. There was something different for sure, though, in how we talked to each other, what we talked about. I can honestly say there was flirting happening on my end. By the time we said our good-byes, we had each other's numbers and yahoo IM names.
We talked EVERY day from that day forward. Usually through IM. By the end of the week, I talked him into inviting me out to the college and spend the day with him. We had our "date" planned out. We were going to start at Starbucks, go watch a movie, then I would go home. We made it to Starbucks, but not much further. We talked past the start of the movie. We ended up walking around the campus for the rest of the time. Seven hours after my arrival, I went home.
The next weekend, he came home. We went to church together, spent the afternoon together, then went out on a "date" that night. We actually made it to the places we planned this time. Our night was cut short due to a fight at the bowling alley. So we drove back to his parent's house. Again, we talked. By this time, I am sure he knew my whole history. I actually told myself that I would tell him everything so that if he ever decided to leave me, he would leave me now, not later.
After talking for a while, I looked at him and told him, "you know, if you ask me to be your girlfriend, I won't tell you no." So he asked, and I said "yes". And it was that night that I knew he was the man God had set aside just for me. He was the man God created to spend the rest of my life with. God had answered my prayer of completing my list and fulfilling the sign I asked for.
He came again the next weekend. By the end of the weekend, I pulled him aside and said, "you know, if you ask me to marry you, I won't say no." (when a girl knows, she knows) We were unofficially engaged that weekend. We wanted to do it right. So he asked my dad for his blessing. Of course my dad said yes. By the end of the month, he got down on one knee and officially asked me to be his wife.
We are still together, happily married, five and a half years later. God has blessed our lives and our marriage. I praise God for how He worked in our lives. We were talking about it the other night. I asked Gabriel what he thought would have happened if we would have started dating sooner, when I knew he like me. I wonder how our lives would have been different. What he said next is so true. He said "I don't think we would have been ready for it." Looking back, I know I would not have been ready for that kind of relationship. God had to prepare my heart for that kind of love, a love I never knew had existed. If we would have worked in our time, I do not believe we would be happily married, or even married. I don't know. I just know God's timing is perfect. And God was able to work in our lives, preparing each of us for the life we have today. If it were not for my past relationships, I would not know how good I have it. I would not know what true love is. I am happily married today, only By God's Amazing Grace.
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